Sunday, January 9, 2011

More time.

It was the summer of 1981. I stepped into a movie theater for the first time, with my father. It was just us and The Fox and the Hound. I felt so lucky for this one-on-one adventure. For an hour and a half we enjoyed the show on the biggest screen I had ever seen. The time flew by. That day I fell in love with movies and visual storytelling.

Growing up, time with my dad was limited. He was a manager and devoted his life to the company he worked for. Exhausted when he was home, no doubt three daughters were a bit much to deal with. My early memories with him reside mostly in summer vacations and holidays.

As I got older, he quietly pushed me to succeed in school and sports. Every hour-and-a-half game, he was there. Every accomplishment, he celebrated. He made time. The thought of disappointing him was something I could never fathom. For the most part, I always tried to follow his advice.

Last Thursday he had triple bypass surgery. My youngest sister sent me a message the moment he was on the heart pump. Indicating he'd be sustained through technology for an hour and a half. I've never felt so helpless. So far away. Knowing that his heart was not beating on it's own. That his life was placed firmly in the hands of a surgeon I didn't know. It was the longest hour and a half of my life. Would the main heart artery graft from his leg artery work? How can they even do something like that?

I still have trouble even physically writing the word artery. If I were there, I would have been a mess. Or passed out. Guaranteed. Although, maybe having to deal with my extreme squeamishness would have helped distract my mom. Thankfully, she's a nurse. And a saint.

I should have been there, even though he told me to wait and see him when he was out. He was so optimistic the night before surgery, I took his advice. As usual.

I feel so very lucky that he's doing well in spite of the long road to recovery before him. I'll hear his voice for the first time today since the procedure. They say once heart patients make it to this point, they start looking forward to feeling better than they have in a long time. That symptoms they've been attributing to aging will disappear. He's been given the gift of more time. And, as a wise man once said, time is luck. Don't waste it.

Bookmark and Share
Pin It

No comments:

Post a Comment